Rules and Games

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Why is it that at the start of any relationship, whether it’s a sexual relationship or a romantic one we have to follow these rules and play some sort of game? For the most part, women know that if we act too eager, a man usually gets scared and runs away. So for us this consists of not contacting him first, and if he contacts us to deny him the first time for the “chase”. This sort of game and these sort of rules are so outdated and barbaric. If I want to hangout with a man, why do I have to deny him the first time. What if I wanted to hangout? Now we both don’t get what we want. Why can’t I contact him first? What if i’m interested in getting to know him more, why is that a turn off? Even if it’s not for a relationship, even if it’s just for sex, why do women have to bend over backwards to make ourselves more desirable? Maybe I’m dating all the wrong men, but I want to be able to do whatever I want without the fear of being annoying, or being rejected. If I want to hangout with a man, I should be able to. I’m sick of playing games, why can’t we rewrite our own damn rules?

that one thing

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Things can be going seemingly well. In fact you are happy, but there is that one thing that consumes your brain, makes you feel lonely and sad, makes you feel worthless…a man. See I had been talking to this man for a few weeks, we had hooked up. (Before I get judgements I am a college female, this is quite normal and p.s. it’s my body) After I hook up with a guy I tend to like it to be steady. I am leaving to study abroad next semester, I’m not trying to wife this guy up, just engage in some good sex. I thought things were fine and then BAM they weren’t. We started talking less each day, but the real kicker is when he would just blatantly ignore my requests to hangout…again I’m just trying to get laid nothing more. Things like this make a young woman question herself. What did I do? Why is he ignoring me? Why can’t we just hook up? Did I do something? Is it me? When in reality it isn’t me, and rather this boy who seems to be a bit of an asshole. But why is it that things can be going well but that one thing makes you question yourself and makes you feel powerful emotions? I will never attempt to understand the workings of the male mind, but I wish I could grasp my own and stop myself from doubting myself all because a boy has ignored me.

Excuses

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There comes a point in every girls life where you’re over trying for a man who just doesn’t give you the time of day. Yes, the man may be perfectly sculpted by the Gods, his hair may be luscious, and his lips may be oh so kissable, but if he doesn’t have the decency to text you back… ditch him. If he doesn’t open the door for you, ditch him. If he flirts with another girl in front of you, ditch him. Girls, we constantly make excuses for men. “Maybe he didn’t get my text, or is just really busy.” NO, if a man is interested he will text you back. “Maybe he just doesn’t open the door for people ever.” NO, if a man is a gentleman he will open the door for you. “Maybe he just doesn’t realize he’s flirting.” NO, men are not as oblivious as we like to think they are. We need to stop making excuses for fuck boys. If he doesn’t seem like he cares, he probably doesn’t care. Yes, it sucks and it hurts and we can cry, eat a gallon of ice cream, and watch gossip girl. Then we’ll suck it up and move on. Stop making excuses for men, because the more excuses you make for the wrong guy, the more time it’s gonna take to get to the right guy.

Feelings for your fuck buddy

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So recently I have acquired a fuck buddy, and it’s wonderful. Texting him whenever I’m in the mood, and having great guilt free sex. However something horrible has happened; I got the feels. I know he won’t text me unless it’s late at night or for a booty call, but I wish he would. I know the whole reason he comes over is just to fuck, and he thinks that’s all I want, but I wish things would be different. The point of a fuck buddy is a no strings attached relationship. The fuck buddy can be friends, have good sex, so basically in a guys perspective the perfect situation. I went into the fuck buddy phenomena thinking I could handle it, but I highly overestimated myself. He comes over, and we have sex, once or twice. And then he sleeps over. We cuddle, his soft arms wrap around me. His heavy breathing when he’s sleeping lulls me. I don’t want him to leave in the morning. We talk after sex before we go to sleep. We get along, we have similar interests, and not to mention he is so so attractive. I could see a beautiful relationship forming out of this, except he has no idea how I feel. He told me before we became fuck buddies that he doesn’t want a relationship. The main worry is that if I tell him how I feel, that he’ll feel bad, not want to hurt me, and end the fucking and probably the buddies. I would rather have this great sex and hide my feelings than lose him all together. Lesson one of the story: don’t fall for a guy who says he doesn’t want a relationship.  Lesson two of the story: don’t get a fuck buddy unless you are made of steel and don’t have feelings.

xoxo

M