I can feel the tears well up into my eyes, i’ve been crying a lot lately. There’s a lump in my throat and my eyes start to get watery and blurry. I don’t want them to fall on my cheeks just yet, if I leave them in my eyes it won’t feel like I’m crying. But I’m trying to text and I can’t read anything, there’s too much water in my eyes. So I let them go, cascading on my cheeks, like little waterfalls. Once I start crying I can’t hide the feelings anymore, I have to feel them. Feelings of loneliness, feelings of being unwanted, feelings of melancholy. I’m always someones second choice, no one ever feels for me as I feel for them. Am I being dramatic? Maybe. But this is what the tears tell me, this is how I feel. Last place. Always average at everything. Nobody’s first pick, not necessarily someones last either. I just want to be it for someone. I just want them to look at me, the way I look at all the others.