after all this time

love, Uncategorized

A lot of time is passed. Charlotte York from Sex and the City states that it should take you half the amount of time you dated someone to get over it. Well it’s been half that time plus a month and you’re still in my brain. I’ll try and escape you and something happens. For some reason I feel like you’re everywhere. Maybe quiet literally, I will see a photo of you or see your friends. But sometimes I just hear your favorite band, or see someone wearing a t-shirt and all the emotions come rushing back. It makes me sick to think of what you’ve done to me. I have no respect for you, no like for you, but I am still in love with you. I feel like I’m more in love with the memories, and the way you made me feel, and less in love with you. I make progress, but I still feel empty. I meet new people, and create new feelings. I’m finding myself thrown into amazing opportunities, and life changing experiences, but you’re still lingering. After all this time, you’re still there. And I wonder if we’ll ever speak again. I don’t know if I could, I don’t know if I like the person you are. I don’t feel like you’re the same man I know. But I miss you every damn second. Are you just going to be a relationship that fades in the back of my mind? Are you going to be a boy that one day I warn my daughter about? Or will one day we be able to be friends? I don’t know the answer, I don’t know what the future holds. I just know that in the pain, one day I’ll find something good out of it. One day a guy will thank you for letting me go, I guess one day I will realize exactly why it had to happen. But for now, I will continue to drown my sorrows in whatever feels good and soul search, until my one day becomes a reality.