fuck

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And just like that you forgot how much it hurts. They don’t show the part where you’re considering killing yourself in romantic comedies?. It’s like something is stabbing my heart. I want something to take the pain away, anything, please. I feel like I’m going to vomit and the constant ebbing flow of tears is dehydrating my entire body. I wonder if I’ll ever feel okay again. That slight chance he’ll come back is lingering, and giving me an anxiety attack, I want it. I need it. But even if he does, will things ever be the same? I’m going to be in constant fear that if I even have so much as an emotion, he’ll leave me. I’ll fuck him day and night, because I’m scared if I don’t, he’ll want it somewhere else. I’ll smile every damn second of the day. I’ll give him his space, to be with his boys. I’ll let him do drugs and play the drums until his heart is content. But I know, that somehow in this deep dark world of letting him do whatever he wants, I’m going to lose myself. I’m going to become someone I don’t know. I’m going to become a girl who gets fucked over at every second, a girl who lets her man do whatever the fuck he wants to her, I’m gonna become a slave. But slavery is a small price to pay. The thing is being in love will make you do some weird shit. I would rather lose myself in a man who isn’t even sure about me, than to be without him. I would rather bend over backwards for a man who probably doesn’t deserve me, than be alone. This startling, gut wrenching, pain of a heart break is enough to make you do things you never thought you would do. Being dumped will make you crazy.